One of the most bizzare years ( of my life to date ) is coming to an end. And the funny thing is, it seemed endless but also fast at the same time. Most of the days were the same, nothing exciting or noteworthy. Easily loosing track of time and dates and Neftlixing was at an all time high. So many negative emotions came to surface, so much reflection was done but a whole lot of confusion and uncertainty. I personally don’t remember any time feeling so unsure about everything and feeling powerless. In my darkest moments ( which were more often than usual ) depression creeped in, tears flowed. A constant struggle, trying to make sense of the ” new reality “. I was ( and still am ) incredibly lucky to have my family and closest friends there for me when I needed them most . I too was there for them and together we managed to go through this madness. During this time I admit I learned a hell of alot about myself. Things that I hadn’t noticed or didn’t care to look into before. Some I worked through, others I feel proud of and some I embraced.
I’m forever grateful, even though most of the year was stagnant and we were locked up at home, that I spent so much time with family. In the previous years I didn’t have as much time since I was constantly on-the-go, so this was the perfect opportunity to do so. Another silver lining is taking a much needed ” break”. Sometimes you don’t realize it and you let work of life consume you. We need moments when we can unwind, recenter and empty of minds. With a clear head everything is so much easier right? This quieting of the mind and reflecting led me to figure out what I really want in life and how to go about it. One of the things I decided is to start my own business. It’s something I had at the back of my head but when you think and do a million other things, you kinda never get to it. Now’s the time. I’ve pushed it forward and I’m seeing it come to fruition. I will share more details once its ready. 2021 is all about manifesting, passion, ambition, action.
In 2020 I overcame huge obstacles. One of them was my abdominal surgery. The most physically painful thing I’ve endured. But I went through it and now I’m almost 100% healed. I’ve come out stronger mentally and physically. More determined and sure about myself. Cut off people that were hurting me but also welcomed others that share the same values and friendship with me. I deeply cleansed my internal world and got rid of anything toxic. I no longer tolerate bs, but I’m also more kind and empathetic towards others even if they don’t see things the way I do. I love more and tell those around me that I love them. Sharing this emotion can make a difference in someone life, especially when they need to hear it most.
One part I missed so much in 2020 was traveling. With all the unexpected chaos unfolding , traveling became a distant memory. It was the first year I hadn’t gone anywhere and it didn’t sit well with me. Traveling is my thing! I love going to places I’ve never been to before, experiencing different cultures, food, sights, everything. It’s food to my soul and my soul is starving right now haha! I realize traveling is a luxury but it’s actually a good remedy for stress, anxiety and depression and also a way to experience life differently. It is a necessity. I’m really looking forward to the first flight I take when it’s safe to travel .
If I were to sum up the emotions I felt in all of 2020 it would go like this:
- January- Happy
- February- Concern
- March- Fear
- April- Boredom ( at doing nothing for the first time and just staying home)
- May- Excitement ( 1st lockdown was over )
- June- Happiness
- July- Happiness
- September- Confusion/ Fear
- October – Pain ( due to my surgery)
- November – Anger ( due to 2nd lockdown)
- December – Hatred ( just wanting this year to end )
I’m now feeling optimistic. I know that things won’t magically turn around but I feel there’s a transition. A positive one. Let’s wait and see. I wish you a Happy New Year with lots of love, health and joy. May 2021 be kinder and prosperous.Don’t despair. We got this!
You won’t be missed.
P.S This is the look I had for New Years Eve. Drenched in pearls henny!