If you find yourself heartbroken and you are constantly thinking of your almost-relationship that didn’t work as planned, I would not recommend listening to One Republic’s “Apologize”. Instead, read this article and try to determine why you are still stuck in the past. What really prevents you from moving on? Here are 5 possible reasons:
- It was your first love
In this case, you are falling into the category of normal people. We all have at least one true love during our lifetime. Though you might have strong emotional memories that tie you to the past, you need to try and let them go. As a human being, you have the ability to “untie” of someone you loved. It’s all psychological.
- You enjoyed the idea, not the person
This is another common reason why you are still stuck in your almost-relationship. You can’t get over that person in your life because he or she made you feel loved, treasured or special. In the end, it was all about you feeling amazing, not necessarily about your almost-partner. You also miss the idea of being with someone who cherished you for what you were. Do not worry; there are many other potential partners out there who might prove to be better in the end. After you fall in love with someone, you will also fall in love with the idea of being loved and appreciated for who you truly are.
- Hard to reconcile the present with the past
Sometimes it’s hard to realize that you have lost someone who could have been everything for you. As human beings, we like to believe in love, we make plans and we dream of a perfect marriage. If you feel it is hard to reconcile your present state with what could have been, try to stop thinking so optimistic. Maybe things would not have worked out as planned. Maybe that person is not necessarily for you. Time will be the ultimate judge in this issue.
- You do not remember the problems
This point is connected to the previous one. You might be stuck in your almost-relationship because you are listening to your brain, which has the odd habit of flashing happy memories to you. You only remember that long kiss, those beautiful moments at the beach, the kind words…but you’ve completely forgot of all the quarrels, betrayals and fights you had. In this case, I strongly recommend that you spend some time alone with your brain and try to figure out if the good parts were more than the bad ones. Write your assessment on a piece of paper and keep it to remind yourself that things weren’t as great as you thought them to be.
- You made a big mistake and you can’t forgive yourself
In this case, there is a possibility that your almost-relationship may transform into an actual relationship. If you have done something wrong, do not beat yourself up too much. If your potential partner is willing to forgive you and get over it, you should do it too. However, if you are stuck in the almost-relationship because of your mistake, but you want to let it go, do it! There might be someone out there waiting for you.